Sunday (Trinity Sunday)
The Archdeacon has banned Doreen’s sermon on the grounds of heresy. If anyone sees her attempting to take out a camping stove and frying pan for her “scrambled eggs” illustration they are to impound the Calor gas bottle and call the Bomb Squad.
Monday
Churches Together in the Trim Valley. 8pm St Leonard’s Chapel. All the Methodists have died out, and the one remaining English Catholic goes to church in Banbury. And the Polish Catholics aren’t interested. Still, 8pm. It’s traditional so it’s got to happen.
Tuesday
It’s “Faculty Reversal” day at Grilsby from 10am. Any retired glaziers welcome as we need to prise out that ghastly modern stained glass and chuck it in the quarry. Can everybody who offered a pew during the re-ordering please bring it back. And if anyone needs a nave altar please come and get it.
Wednesday
Mothers’ Union, 8pm. Now the Archdeacon has banned the Pagan rituals it looks like we’ll be back to making jam.
Thursday
In honour of St Mechtildis’s day, it’s Lager Day in Little Tremlett. Pints £2 all day at the “Hanged Man”. Help us to celebrate this German nun in a haze of Pilsner!
Friday
Church Magazine is published. Please note that, in recognition of the white-hot world of technology, we’ll be changing the font.
Saturday
Summer Fayre at Great Tremlett. Unusually we are in need of donations of clothes. Clean, serviceable clothes and jars of jam gratefully accepted. No more mankinis from members of the Choir please. We didn’t need to know what the tenors were wearing under their robes.
Writes of the Church 