Letters to the Church Magazine: October 2018

Dear Sir

It is such a shame that the bulb has blown in the overhead projector. That projector has displayed the lyrics of songs on the wall for nearly thirty years. Indeed, it’s still mostly showing the same acetates.

However, noting that it’s so old, spares are unavailable, we must realise that it is a fad that has had its day.

My mother, Jennie, left some money in her will for me to allocate to the church “for whatever seems fit.” I have therefore purchased a laptop computer, data projector and new projector screen: all inscribed in her memory. I hope this will be a suitable replacement.

Yours etc

Christine Gringle, Dag Lane

Dear Sir

It is such a shame that the bulb has blown in the overhead projector. That projector has displayed the lyrics of songs on the wall for nearly thirty years. Indeed, it’s still mostly showing the same acetates.

However, noting that it’s so old that spares are unavailable, we must realise that we need a replacement.

Conveniently, I was considered particularly trendy in church circles in my day (which I believe was 4 March, 1972). So I am glad to present to the parish the projector we used for the Woodby Chapel production of “Hair” in that year. I hope this will be a suitable replacement. In fact, I will be mortified if it is not. That particularly embarrassing case of frostbite will have been in vain.

Yours etc

Jim Beem, Stable Lane

Dear Sir

It is such a shame that the bulb has blown in the overhead projector. That projector has displayed the lyrics of songs on the wall for nearly thirty years. Indeed, it’s still showing the same acetates.

However, noting that it’s so old that spares are unavailable, we must realise that it is a fad that has had its day.

My uncle, Cyril Dibble, left some money in his will for me to allocate to the church “for whatever seems fit.” I have therefore purchased 100 copies of the Redemption Hymnal, each individually dedicated to my uncle’s memory. I hope this will be a suitable replacement.

Yours etc

Dr Ireland, Dunphlebbin’

Dear Sir

It is such a shame that the bulb has blown in the overhead projector. That projector has displayed the lyrics of songs on the wall for nearly thirty years. Indeed, it’s still showing the same acetates.

However, noting that it’s so old that spares are unavailable, we must realise that it is a fad that has had its day.

The good news is that I have kept in my garage a job lot of the “Spring Harvest Songbook 1997”, which I had prophesied I needed for the massive revival I believed I would see in my house group as the Millennium loomed. I now realise that I had misunderstood my prophecy, and that the bringer of doom and devastation I foresaw was actually Brexit.

I have therefore inscribed each book with my best wishes to the parish, in what will be a troubling time. I hope this will be a suitable replacement.

Yours etc

Chas “Charlie” Charkles, Hangman’s Close

Dear Sir

Good news! After the discovery that the bulb had blown in the overhead projector, we thought we would need to find some replacement.

But perusing the minutes of the “OHP Purchase Sub-Committee (June 1989)”, we discovered that, in their wisdom, they had bought 400 replacement bulbs “just in case”.

Looks like we we’re good for another 12,000 years!

Does anyone have any spare acetates? We’re still just singing the original five songs. And we’re bored of “Think of a World Without any Flowers”.

Yours etc

Harvey Garvey, “Dreamboat”, Tremlett Marina

Dear Sir

I find that we need a new rota, for “which medium we shall use in Gt Tremlett for the songs each Sunday”. If anyone is foolish enough to volunteer to tread this tightrope over that valley of tears, please let me know.

Yours etc

Morgan the Warden, Rosebud Cottage

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