If I were to Write a Stereotype of this Government it Would Be…

People huddling together, burning unused PGCE  and B Ed syllabus books (because who needs those?) to keep warm.

In the distance a bunch of wind turbines stand around. Half have caught fire because it was so windy yesterday, the other half are just standing there, limp, because it’s dead calm today. While a taxman with a huge bag full of “green” taxes from the gas bills, goes off to give the swag to a French public servant, who’s going to add it to some more money from the Chinese Government to put a new nuclear power station in Somerset.

Outside, an unnecessary railway line – built by a bunch of people who are currently burning fivers to keep warm, because they can – carries the one train that has been delivered so far to run on the track. A train that does 180 miles an hour, and runs over the badgers which are being tied to the sleepers like women in 1920s silents films by a group of unemployed people, who have to do it to get their benefits….  The passengers  –  who thought it was worth paying extra to get to Birmingham faster – are each being given free copies of the King james Version of the Bible, individually-signed by Michael Gove.

Meanwhile, George Osborne is shouting at a group of bankers, while simultaneously pouring money on their heads.

While people whose benefits are being cut are told there’s no money left, because it’s all been thrown at the pointless train, given to pay for the wind turbines, or poured over the bankers.

Obviously, that’s just if I were to write a stereotype.

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