Always interesting to have a cycle round the West End. I say “interesting”, of course. I mean “terrifying”. After a bit of sight-seeing, and a few near-misses today on Boris Bikes. I do have a few suggestions for Boris Johnson, and if he can make these minor tweaks I’m sure the West End will be a perfect haven for cyclists. When I say “the West End”, for the purposes of the exercise, assume I mean everything from Kings Cross to Hyde Park Corner.
1) One-way Streets – get rid of them. Allow two-way traffic on all roads.
2) Allow red lights to mean “proceed with caution”. This isn’t so much a change, more regularizing the state of things.
3) Make pedestrians wear hats with special mirrors, so they don’t keep stepping out into the road without looking.
4) Put a roundabout in the middle of Oxford Circus.
5) Ban dorky cycling trousers. It only gives everyone a bad name.
6) Confine buses to Tottenham Court Road, Regents St, Oxford St and Gower St – one road each way and two up and down should be enough for anyone.
7) Ban all delivery vehicles between 6am and midnight.
8) Expand the Boris Bikes to include electric buggies, and electric wheelbarrows for shoppers in Oxford St.
9) Allow free range to emergency vehicles, obviously. And black cabs would be allowed, but the drivers must always give way to cycles, and wave politely whenever one passes by.
10) Ban all the private cars. All the time. All of them. Everywhere.
I reckon that should do it. The West End would be lovely. Quiet, safe, and lovely.