Prince Charles and Jeremy Hunt – the Secret Tapes

Obviously I shouldn’t be sharing this stuff. Somebody’s gonna be in trouble when they discover the recording was made. Still, it needs to be put in the public domain.

When Charles met Hunt last week, this is what actually happened….

JH: Welcome, Your Highness. Cup of herbal tea?

HRH: On the strong stuff at this time of the morning?

JH: It’s a stressful job, Sir. Or maybe a cup of Darjeeling?

HRH: Yes, please. Granny used to be empress of that. It’s, er….. it’s not very strong, though, to look at it?

JH: No. We made it, then poured it all out the pot, then put in fresh boiling water. It just retains the memory of the tea itself. We call it homeopa-tea.

HRH: Wow, it certainly wakes you up!

JH: Not too much at once, Sir.

HRH: Certainly not. I had a friend who died of an overdose of homeopathy once. He drowned.

JH: Now, we really need to talk about how your irresponsible attitude to dangerous health treatments can be useful to  the Government’s money-saving agenda.

HRH: I beg your pardon?

JH: I’m sorry. I meant, we need to discuss our common interest in alternative therapies.

HRH: Well, quite. Obviously, we should keep homeopathy to the forefront.

JH: Yep. I’ll never have to make financial cuts in a service that involves prescribing pure water.

HRH: And I can expand the range of “Duchy Original” homeopathic remedies, for those who prefer the private sector.

JH: Then there’s beating people with sticks to drive out the demons, the use of the right incantations to overcome Evil Eye…..

HRH: Evil Eye? Isn’t that a bit medieval?

JH: Yes, but magic is cheaper than real treatment.

HRH: You mean, “has been overlooked by our modern technomedical complex in its approach to certain debilitating diseases”?

JH: Precisely. And, now that TB is on the rise, we may have need of Your Highness’s services in a more hands-on role.

HRH: You want me to run an Alternative Therapies research programme?

JH: No, I’m going to reinstate Touching for the King’s Evil.

HRH: Hunt, you are a dangerous man. If I wanted to hear this kind of money-grabbing, lowest common denominator health planning, I’d talk to my dahlias. They just want to spray everything with pesticides.

JH: Point taken, Your Highness. And all the best for the new grandchild. And inside angle on whether it’s a boy or a girl?

HRH: I can tell you she’s had all the best alternative treatments. But I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to tell you which way the frog jumped when we put it on her stomach…..


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